Movie of the Week!

Okay soooooo the movie of the week is The Lake House!!! It's starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves and it came out in 2006. It's basicaly about a lady named Kate who is moving out of her lake house and a guy named Alex who is moving into The Lake House. Well they exchange letters through the mail box but later find out that the mail box is kind of like a communication time machine. It's a great movie with an excellent ending I boo hooed when i first saw it!!!

To Speak or not to Speak???

Hey Blog world! I have a question have you ever been with your boyfriend or girlfriend out in public and some how you come across an old flame??? Or even just a friend of the opposite sex??? Well in your opinion what should you do? I don't know but I was always taught to speak when spoken to or to speak period when i saw someone who knew me or i knew them. Always, thats just how i was taught. But, recently I have kinda realized that theres a different side to speaking to members of the oposite sex when your with your significant other. See this is what happened. I was with my baby :) at walmart :D and we were waiting on my tire to get fixed but the lady with the dirty neck was taking 4 3V3R!!! So me and my baby :) are just waiting, waiting when this guy walks up to me that i use to talk to "O" well the guys says "hey brandy" and rubs my arm i guess kinda like "inapropriately" for my boyfriend to be standing right there. I spoke back because i didnt want to be rude BUT later that night we all went to club Visions and who else did we see but "O", this time he did hug me and my baby's :) face was not so happy, it was kinda like this >:-{ lol but yea so he kinda let it slide but THEN we went to denny's and yall guess who the fack we saw......"O" now trust me i understood his irritation trust me I did but how could it be my fault i wasnt textin the negro to firgure out his every move! I was just tryna chill with my baby :) and my girls :D but we ended up leaving that dennys and going to another dennys alone. I gave u this story because on one hand when ur with your siggie other yes you should put your full focus onto them but how does it make you look as a person if when your alone you speak up and say hi to a person but when your with your boo you act "brand new" and act like you dont know the person??? It's kinda phony to me. *shrugs shoulders*. I mean I would never try to disrespect my boyfriend by speaking to my other male friends but to me i know where my heart is so why not speak to my male friends?? Confusing aint it?

Gimmie Gimmie MORE!! Gimmie Gimmie!!!!

So i saw this cartoon and automatically thought of my current situation. Not to mention its hilarious. Hehe. Now im not trying to compare my past with my present, but in my past relationships i have always been in the position to see my boyfriend sort of when ever i want. Especially when i started driving, but even when i wasnt my boyfriends at least did what ever they could to see me. Welllllllllll thats not so much the case with my relationship now. Don't get me wrong my boo really tries to fit me into his schedule, he comes to see me on his days off, and if he's not sleep or at work then where is he??? With me :). And i appriciate every bit of time he does share with me.....But why am i complaining you ask?......I got a man who works hard, not alot of females can say that shit, and i agree BUT.....He works soooo hard that he gets sooooo sleepy i mean this boy sleeps like a pregnant woman! F*ck a nap he makes sure he gets his 8 full hours of Zzzz's!! And I understand that with the kind of work he does trust me when he gets off he is exhausted, and i really do understand but like i feel like i have to beg him to come see me, and that makes me feel akward (turtle) and neglected. I find myself saying "baby puhleeeese come see me alot" and one time on his day off he turned his phone off and just slept all day! I was pissed >:(. But all that aside no matter how many times I curse him out in my mind lol or no matter how many times i get mad at him, I still smile when someone asks about him, and i still call him my baby, even when im cursin him out in my head! I'll be like "uhg!!! he is pissin me off i swear that boy!! How he not gon come see me, oh but he care about me?! Uhg i can't stand my baby sometimes....:::think about it:::damn!! i mean i cant stand that boy!!!"Then i'll laught to myself and say....Brandy you know thats your baby :). On a up side my sister tells me "Brandy when it comes to Leon, your selfish and you can't see it" I mean he does do alot to make me happy.....He comes to see me at work when i ask him to for the most part, id say 85% out of 100% of the time when i ask him he comes to see me, he even got out of bed to bring me some apple jacks to my job :).....hey...i was hungry! lol. So he's really a sweetheart, i dunno maybe i can be a brat at times, but he loves me and deals with it. And im thankful for that, I dont meeeean to be a brat its just that the times im with him are so good i always want to be around him. And sometimes id like for him to call me and want to see me. Sometimes i dont think he misses me very much, but who knows i could just be in "brat mode" or maybe i shoudl just chill out. But i dont think its too much to ask for someones time. You should never be too busy for the one you "love".......

Brandy are you blushing?!?!

This cartoon suits whats going on right now with me oh so well. lol. Well i never would have thought in a million gatrillion (yes it's a word) years that i would meet a guy worth 2 cents in the club of all places. And thats just what happened. A few fridays ago i went to Have a Crap day cafe, i really did NOT want to go but my homies were there so i went any way. I drove up there by myself in a hoodie and some sneakers, im already pissed due to previous events so im in a crappy mood when i get in. I walk over to my homies Trice, Nigga Don, CJ, Bernard, and some weird dude that wont with them he was just starin at us cause he had no friends. I say whats up and we starin two steppin to the music, Trice was already feelin right and i think nigga Don was sippin so i was like "Let me go get my signature drink"....I told the homies id be back in a sec and walked over to the bar. I told the Bartender to let me get an "amaretto sour".....this dude took fooooooorrrrreverrrrr so long that finally i was just about to walk off, well good thing i didnt because a cutie walked up and asked did i want a drink. I got my drink...what else?....thats right! amaretto sour and took my sips. The cutie just smiled and walked away. I was like well damn thanks for the drink...he didn't even ask my name. It bothered me, but i started loosenin up with that drink lol. So me and the homies is straight chillin drinking and laughin at lames in the club when i realize "hey self, that cute boy never came backa nd the club closes in 15 minutes" so i tell the homies..."i'll be right back" and i hand the rest of my current drink to Bernard. I walk over to the cutie and say "excuse me, you bought me a drink and didnt even ask to dance with me, let alone my friggin name, whats up with that?" well we exchanged names and ages and hometowns, all the basics, but then he shocked me yall....If ANY other dude had of did this shit i woulda smacked the shit outta his ass but for some reason....i didn't smack him lol i couldn't. He looked at me and grabbed my hoodie :::my thought "what the hell he grabbin me for?"::: He said "I'm not doing this to disrespect you in anyway but i just have to do this" :::my thought "please don't hurt me....this is creeepy"::: Don't ask me why i didn't move but after that he kissed me....and I kissed them lips right back....in fact i think i kissed him walking out of the club, on the side walk walking to the car, by the stop light, we kissed so much that Doni and Bernard had to literally come pull us apart. hehe. Well he chilled with me and the homies that whole night and as much as i digged his personallity and his kisses lol i figured "yea it's just a club thing". But people, I was WRONG oh booooyyyyy was i wrong, since that friday night i have seen the cutie almost everyday but one and that one day he was sick with the cold i gave him :( (sorry babe) He is incredibly sweet, with in 2 weeks he's been more open and honest with me then some guys were with me for months! He only wants to make me happy even though i kinda blow up on him for dumb reasons. I reeeally gotta stop that. But honestly he's like a breath of fresh air to me.I havent been this happy in a while. Today he came to see me at work, and before he came i told my homie Lui "watch out for my babes just in case im not up here when he comes", well another coworker heard me and when a guy walked in she was like "Brandy, is that him?" Lui was like nope when he walks in Brandy will light up like a light bulb. lol. I laughed and said "shut up" but soon as i saw himi proved Lui right, he walked throught the door and i lit up like a christmas tree :) They both said i was blushing i don't think was doing all of that but i was cheesing.....alot :D. What can i say he keeps me smiling and i dont think theres a limit to how much he can make me smile....

Movie of the Week!!!!

Monica: One game, one on one.
Quincy: For what?
Monica: Your heart.

Thats my favorite part from one of my favorite movies. I know yall have been waiting ages for my next couple of the week lol but until i fix a few kinks in that segment im starting something new, Movie of the Week! This weeks movie is Love and Basketball, it came out in 2000. If you don't know what it's about it stars Omar Epps as "Quincy" and Sanaa Lathan as "Monica" they grow up next to each other in los angeles and both want to be basketball players, As the two struggle to reach their goals of playing professionally, they must also deal with their emotions for each other. It's an awesome movie, contains one of my FAVORITE songs and is most definitely a tear jerker!

Manos Al Aire (Translation)

Tú, que pierdes el control Hablando en alta voz Hieres mi corazón Yo, tratando de escuchar No me puedo explicar Qué extraña sensación.
You, the one who lose controlSpeaking loudlyYou hurt my heartMe, trying to listenI can't explain myselfWhat a strange feeling
Tú no me quieres entender Y me mandas a callar diciéndome No me debo sorprender Porque así es la realidad De nuestro amor
You don't want to understand me And you order me to shut up telling me I don't have to feel surprised Because this is the reality of our love
[CHORUS]
Y yo No tengo armas para enfrentarte Pongo mis manos, manos al aire Sólo me importa amarte En cuerpo y alma como era ayer
And IDon't have weapons to confront you I put my hands, in the air To love you, that's all that matters In body and soul like it was yesterday
Tú que perdiste el control Te dejaste llevar Por la inseguridad Yo que te he visto crecer Me puedo imaginar Que todo cambiará
You the one lost controlLet yourself goBy the insecurityMe that saw you growI can imagineThat all will change
Hoy aunque todo siga igual Y me mandes a callar diciéndome Que tienes que dominar O será el final Y yo no puedo así
Today even if all is the sameAnd you order me to shut up telling meThat you have to ruleOr it would be the endAnd I can't like this
[CHORUS]
Y yo No tengo armas para enfrentarte Pongo mis manos, manos al aire Sólo me importa amarte En cuerpo y alma como era ayer
And IDon't have weapons to confront you I put my hands, in the air To love you, that's all that matters In body and soul like it was yesterday

Issues with exchanges of Words???

Lately I've been listening to a few of my friends, co-workers, and family about their "relationship problems" and it seems to me that a lot of the problems in relationships string from an issue in communication. If your communication in your relationship is barely there or non-exsistant then of course it will cause a huge strain on you and your significant other, OR even if you are just testing the waters with someone special and your not quite in a relationship you still have to have great communication, this is where it is crucial! I just don't understand communication issues in relationships, i mean its not hard people. Let me give you a few helpful hints that i have learned over time........

1. When on the phone always talk don't leave any room for silence in your conversation. If the other person senses silence they will tend to say "let me call you back".....or "well i guess i'll talk to u later"....prompting them to do something else or call someone more interesting.

2. A really great way to avoid silence in a conversation or those "awkard so umm yea pauses" is to never answer a question with a one word answer. Always give at least one detail for example If someone ask:

"So what did u do today?"

Wrong Answer: "Nothin"

Better Answer:"Nothin really just watched a movie"

Fantastic Answer!!:"Nothin really just watched Twilight, I love that movie"

See the difference?? The Wrong Answer is too closed there is no room for more conversation. The Better Answer is good because there is room for conversation such as "Oh really? what movie?" or "what movies do u like". The Fantastic Answer is awesome because there is plenty of room for conversation and plenty of direction. Direction is important in conversation too because it leads the path of what you talk about next. For example with the Fantastic Answer the listener could follow with "Oh really Twilight? I've never seen it, whats it about?" or "Yea that movie is the ish, whats you favorite part?" See what im saying? By giving a detailed answer you continue with a great conversation. The other half of communication is LISTNING to each other. Dont be so keen on getting your points and views accross that you fail to listen to how the other person feels. This causes aurguments and really will get you no where fast. You will just end up seeing how loud each other can go screaming to get a point accross. I hate aurguing but when i do disagree with another person i really try hard to talk not yell so we both understand each other. I really hope these communication tips helped you all. If you still have questions feel free to ask, if not remember that a good 85% of a realationship is communication.

COUPLE OF THE WEEK!!!!!

I am now starting something called "Couple of the week" which is recognizing those special couples who have been together for more than 3 months, and just stand out with the love they share for each other. This will take place every Monday. This weeks choice was extremely tough because there were so many happy couples to choose from and also this is the first couple, but i know i made the right choice. They met working at Mcdonalds in 2005, They started dating January 20th, 2006 and it's been 3 1/2 years now so a well and deserved Congradulations to Sidonia and Damen!!!

TLW-Interview:

1a. Whats the best thing about Damen?

Sidonia said: "The fact that he can make me laugh despite whats going on"

1b.Whats the best thing about Sidonia?

Damen said: "She has my back when it comes down to it, basically it's a fight, we fightin' together"

2a.What's the sweetest thing Damen ever did?

Sidonia said: "He surprised me with a diamond butterfly necklace on our fourth month anniversary."

2b.Whats the sweetest thing Sidonia ever did?

Damen said: "She took me to the Poconos for my birthday."

3a.What makes Damen so different from other guys?

Sidonia said: "He has my back even though I'm crazy!"

3b.What makes Sidonia so different from other girls?

Damen said: "She's mature, and she's well rounded, she's smart, her personality stands out, I can relate to her"

4a.What is yall's song?

Sidonia said: "Mary J. Blige-Be without you"

4b.What is yall's song?

Damen said: "Trey Songz-I don't wanna leave"

5a.What's your ringtone for Damen?

Sidonia said: "Usher-love you gently"

5b. What's your ringtone for Sidonia?

Damen said: "Jagged Edge-let's get married"

6a. What would Damen say your worst characteristic/habit is?

Sidonia said: "My jealousy"

6b. What would Sidonia say your worst characteristic/habit is?

Damen said: "I hold my true feelings like I bite the bullet alot when I should just talk."

7a. What would Damen say your best characteristic/habit is?

Sidonia said: "My booty, naw im playin', I really don't know"

7b.What would Sidonia say your best characteristic/habit is?

Damen said: "I look out for her, like whatever she need I try my hardest to get it"

8a. What is Damen's worst characteristic/habit?

Sidonia said: "He don't like to express his feelings"

8b. What is Sidonia'a worst characteristic/habit?

Damen said: "Her trust issues"

9a. What is Damen's best characteristic/habit?

Sidonia said: "His smile"

9b. What is Sidonia's best characteristic/habit?

Damen said: "Her personality"

10a. What is your first good memory with Damen?

Sidonia said: "On our first date we were walking to 42nd street, well i had on these new shoes and my feet were killing me but i didn't want to tell him. Well he noticed anyway and said lets take a cab"

10b. What is your first good memory with Sidonia?

Damen said: "When we was at fast meal, when we first went out to eat, I asked her could she cook and she said "Naw I can't cook" I respected that she was so honest so fast because most girls be like "hell yea I cook, I'm Betty Crocker!" I was just like wow she's really honest."

11a. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Sidonia said: "Yea I do"

11b. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Damen said: "I do but then I don't, it takes more than just looks to love someone, I believe you talk to someone, then you fall in love".

12a. Do you beleive in TLW?

Sidonia said: "Yes Brandy, I do".

12b. Do you beleive in TLW?

Damen said : "Yes I really do"

Will you EVER decide???

So one of my worst pet peeves is when a person friend, family, boyfriend, parent, sibling, fellow employee, complete stranger anybody cannot make up they damn mind. It is sooo frickin irritating. But the worst one is when a person is indecisive about being in a relationship with me. Like is it that hard just to wait until YOU ready. If you confused id rather you just wait and not say sh*t to me about being in a relationship. Keep your opinions to your damn self. And can i ask a question why would you get mad at a person for questioning being with you when all you do is be indecisive anyway. On one hand you would think id be happy but on the other hand im confused like hell! Jarvis asked me a few days ago to be with him and honestly before i got happy i questioned "Is he ready for this", "how are we gonna make it work", "is he serious", "will he cheat? he told me he would cause hes not ready to commit", "if this is what i want why do i have so many questions?" Finnally i just came out and talked to him because i was confusing myself. Me personally i am ready for a relationship, nothing for me to be indecisive on its what i want. But after the relationships ive been in I know what i want and i know what i don't want. I want a man not some lil boy, a man who wants to make me HAPPY not piss me off every gatdamn day with bullshit. I want someone who gives just as much as he gets and dont try to get over. One that my mom actually likes, one who wants to do sporatic things and dont wanna just stay in the damn house all damn day, one who watches movies with me, one who laughs and doesnt have a dry sense of humor, one who has a damn job and a cah (car), cuz i aint drivin that ass around everydamn where, you can come get me some damn time, and one who can actually can carry on a GOOD and interesting conversation, one who don't walk ahead of me they actually wait and walk with me not ahead like im they damn dog, and for God's sake a faithful one!!! Im not tryna have you date me and the rest of the damn county!! I mean these are not too much to ask, but i have a feelings because men are naturally stupid creatures i will be single for a while =(.

I thought this was INTERESTING

Found it @ breezesworld.blogspot.com
Instructions: Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 12 people you like and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My Life According to COLDPLAY"

Pick Your Artist: Coldplay
Are you a male or female?: Girl =)
Describe yourself: "Easy to Please"
How do you feel:"Lost!"
Describe where you currently live: "In My Place"
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: "Strawberry Swing"
Your favorite form of transportation: "Parachutes"
Your best friend is: "One I Love"
Your favorite color is: "Yellow"
What's the weather like: "Rainy Day"
Favorite time of the day: "Daylight"
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: "Help Is Round the Corner"
What is life to you: "Life Is for Living"
Your relationships: "Twisted Logic"
Your fear: "Death and All His Friends"
What is the best advice you have to give: "Everything's Not Lost"
If you could change your name, you would change it to: "Moses"
Thought for the Day: "Things I Don't Understand"
My soul's present condition: "Bigger Stronger"
My Motto: "Ode to Deodorant"

Missing Puzzle Piece

Okay so every one knows distance puts a STRONG damper on a relationship no matter the situation.....It's just human nature we need some sort of affection and attention when in a relationship or something like it. Too me long distance is if a person is more than 2 states away. I can deal with you being out of state cuz it's called "traveling" but if you are 2 states away or out of the country, Plus if you REALLY TRUELY LOVE someone you should deal with things in order to be with them, to me that's long distance. Distance also puts alot of unecessary problems and drama between two people. I've been dealing with a distance issue with Jarvis every since i met him so i'm pretty much use to it. It sucks f*ckin ass but i can deal with it. Him......not so much. But, I really understand why he feels the way he does. I think maybe i'm more comfortable with it because i have all my family here in VA and all of my friends except one (Kida!!!!) in VA too. Jarvis has friends and family here in VA too but he feels there is more for him in Texas. I really don't have a problem packing up and going to Texas, really I don't, it's just that before i leave i have things to handle in VA just to make sure there's no issue when I get to Texas. I know it's kinda irritating to him. It's irritating to me too, I miss him just as much as he misses me, if not more. But i know one thing Patience is something I have all day, he is very impatient. But arn't somethings REALLY worth waiting for?.....HELL YEA!!!!

Get It Together Grouch!!!

Lately, i've felt like this guy. Don't get me wrong i'm happy for my friends. My homie Doni is plannin to move in with her boo, My homie Trice is happy with her boo (my cuddin), My homie Tito is with her boo livin it up, My homie Breeze is workin it out with the BD, and my sister Kristen is FINALLY in a happy healthy relationship, not to mention my other sister Toni has been with her boyfriend for 5 years now. Trust me i'm really happy for everybody, really i am but sometimes there's this little voice in me that's just like "i really don't want to hear it, damn i'm lonely". 100% pure Grouch ain't it??? I know, maybe that happens to everyone at a point in time. I wish my boo could be here with me, but he's over 1,000 miles and a 24 hour drive away! I know what your
thinking....."DAYUUUM!!" Yea I know right. But you know what on a brighter note good things come to those who wait. And I really don't blame my homegirls how could I? I know when my boo is here I'm with him all the time, and when your happy like that you want to share your happiness with your friends. So I understand. I guess untill my boo comes back home or I go see him (*24 hour drive =( *) I'll just have to get it together Grouch!!!..........

Living In The Past?

Do you reminisce about your past often? Whether it's about love or a job or just your life in general. How often do you recall your past? I have been told recently that i "live in the past". And though I don't agree, I will say this, If I do tend to linger in my past a little, Can you honestly blame me??? I went through a really serious heartbreak, I can't put into words how much pain i was in after me and Jarvis' break up. So if I tend to so called "live in the past" can you honestly blame me? If you spend all your time with someone and you get use to being around them you of course will gain strong feelings for them. Now imagine if that person all of a sudden just leaves you, then about 2 years later somehow you meet back up. Trust me it hurts, so if i tend to "live in the past" don't put me at fault instead try to understand. Sometimes i can't help but to think, "Honestly what's so diffrent?? How am i living in the past exactly"? Something else I have had to learn the hard way is that time changes people. The person that you meet, years from now they may not be the same person. Accepting this change is hard, because you expect for this person to do and say the

same things that they would when you first met them, but what you fail to realize is that, who they were is now gone. That's something i think will

take a while for me to understand that he's not the same person anymore, I'm not the same person anymore either. I think really i changed for the better. I've been through other heart breaks and had my fun but I've learned from it, i wo

n't let it hold me back. It's okay to change, but don't be afraid to try again at something that failed once. It's never to late to become what you might have been.

On some F*ck everything type sh*t....The REALIST sh*t I ever wrote...

So this is the realist shit I ever wrote no holds bars f*ck a nick name, f*ck peoples feelings I really don't care, I could give a f*ck about an opinion right now I just need to vent. I'll probably eventually delete this sh*t but for right now who cares! So blog after blog and day after day I have tried to hold my feelings, but really it's making me crazy because I feel like the truth is getting so misconstrued, for a while I have been referring to the two people my situation as "Combat Boots" and "Adidas"......well....they are Jarvis and Arturo. Surprise surprise right?....Anyways, for those of you who have not read Arturo's blogs lately let me just give you a basic overview "I live in my own world, I don't own up to my mistakes, I did him so wrong when we were together, I have my head up Jarvis' ass, I'm so stuck on Jarvis, I just think i'm never wrong" blah, blah and it goes on and on and on. Let me tell yall something and make this crystal f*ckin clear right hear right now....If I so call live in "my own little world" let me f*ckin stay there because it's the world where people don't paint a picture like they are sooooo f*ckin innocent! I have put up with more bullsh*t in my relationships and that sh*t stops Tooo-f*ckin-day! When I was with Arturo I admit he was there for a shoulder to cry on, he helped me financially sometimes or when he could, he put up with me venturing outside of our relationship, he was a friend to talk to when I couldn't talk to anyone really yes he was there but people If we wanted to go somewhere I drove, everywhere I drove, I begged him to get his life straight, finally he did try but It was a struggle, he isn't even allowed in my house because he disrespected my mother. Yes I did love him but we just did NOT work plain and simple. Me and Arturo are meant to be friends, good friends, I do still care about him alot, If he was with a girl who fucked him over I'd be pissed! I want him to find someone great and a girl who is crazy about him! I want that for him because he is a good friend and it seems like i'm the only one okay with that, I wish we could have worked really but it's not fair to him, yes I said it....It would not be fair to Arturo for me to work on a relationship with Arturo because my heart lies else where and it has for the last 5 years. UNFORTUNATELY sh*t doesn't always turn into a f*ckin fairy tale does it??? Let me explain. Everyone who knows me knows I obsessed with "true love" and they also know who Jarvis is. Most of my friends are probably sick of hearing his name. So this is what I suggest you know before you judge my feelings. I have had other boyfriends....I'm no saint so yes I've had flings. I know what a one night stand is I'm no angel, a lady yes, but no angel. Point is Jarvis was not my 1st boyfriend he was my first love. he is someone who I love completly and truely, the feeling that my heart gets when I'm around him is like no other, it's a feeling that is so strong I can only attempt to describe it. I could only put my heart into your chest for you to know. It would be unfair to try a relationship with someone else knowing my heart is always loving Jarvis. When we were first together we spent almnost every damn day together. I'm so serious this is no analogy we really spent almost every day together, When he would go to work...at target sometimes I would go with him and just talk to him while he would zone his areas...strange right? Who cares what you think I did it anyway. Point is we were inseperable. Basically he asked my mom should we get married....Her and my Uncle both told Jarvis "No". A decision that would affect me to this day. It broke my heart literally because I sat on the stairs listening to that conversation having a strong STRONG feeling that I was carrying Jarvis' child. A few days later January 31st 2006 I took him to the Richmond airport to fly to Germany and said good bye to him, never mentioning anything about "feeling pregnant". A decision that would affect both of us to this day. A few weeks later on valentines Day I found out I was pregnant and told him he was estatic but in March I lost my baby, I've never really said this statement to anyone but it constantly runs through my mind. Most of my friends had kids that year....to have mine taken away from me hurts more than anyone will ever know, because not only did I want my baby but I wanted to have Jarvis' baby. I cryed my self to sleep for days after that distraught that the loss was my fault. Did I eat something wrong? Dis I drink something? Did I sleep wrong? What did I do? Why did I lose them? I was hurt, shortly after that Jarvis and I broke up. Do you know what the Fuck it feels like, let me capitalize this shit so you feel me DO YOU KNOW....WHAT THE F*CK IT FEELS LIKE TO LOSE YOUR CHILD NO MATTER HOW FAR ALONG YOU ARE, TO LOSE YOUR CHILD THEN HAVE THE FATHER OF THE CHILD, YOUR BOYFRIEND, THE PERSON YOU LOVE SOOOOOOO SOOOO MUCH, HAVE THEM BREAK UP WITH YOU LESS THAN A MONTH AFTER??? DO YOU?? I would not wish that pain and hurt on anybody!!! I was a wreck, Everything made me cry, I stayed in bed for a while, the mention of the name "Jarvis" made me cry, my best friend Kida came to my house and took all my pictures of him then made me get dressed to go out. It hurt, and I think no one really knew how bad it hurt me. Well now you know. But time changes alot, Jarvis got married over in Germany and I dated over here. Who knew life would lead us right back down each others paths. Because to this day we still talk BUT it's complicated. He married because he thought the girl was carrying "his child". Well that was a lie, but guess who's still here in the meantime.....me...yea lil ole me. Lil ole naive me I guess, who believes that the spark of true love that use to live in me and Jarvis' relationship is still there. But you know what I'm begining to realize....I'm in love with what use to be....time and life changes people. It changed me and it changed Jarvis I feel like he's not the Jarvis I knew, he is sometimes but the Jarvis I knew wouldn't do the things he does now, I miss that Jarvis, I'm in love with that Jarvis and I always will be, becauase I know in my heart he can be that person again. The fact that we are always apart does not help the sistuation any but I can't help it, my heart still holds on and hopes. But, I guess I do live in my own world, but like I said let me stay there, don't bring me to reality, where people cheat, and people lie to people they love, where people are scared of relationships because of the pain of the past. Let me stay in my world, where there's a soulmate for everyone, where people who love each other tell each other, where people are not afraid to love again after a heartbreak, where people who break up can still be the friends they started as, where people don't dig in the cookie jar because they can't get one person off there minds, Let me stay in my world, where True love not only waits, but where True Love Lives.....

The Cookie "Jar" Act II

Remember when you were little and Grandma or Mama would pull out the fresh cookies from the oven? The smell would just hit your nostrils and just warm your heart, mmm fresh sweet chocolate chips still nice and hot from the oven...mmm. remember seeing them cool on the table and begging and begging for one! "Ma puhleeeese one cookie???"....remember finally getting one, biting into it and chewing the sweet and warm goodness? Mmmm.......Now.....do you remember finishing that little cookie....and asking for another one? But Mama says no that's enough, no more?.....You went back when she wasn't looking....and you took that next cookie....didn't you?......................................That's what I find a certain someone doing now a days.

See when it comes to people sometimes they like to have one person but dibble and dabble into others. The way I feel is that You should venture and play the field for a while, because it helps you decipher what kind of characteristics you want in a life mate. But, If you are lucky to find that person meant for you and you know that person is meant for you then why feel the need to venture??? Why??? why waste your time with meaningless sex, and spending time with other people when your heart truly belongs to another person. It's not fair and in all actuallity it's selfish. I agree with looking and making sure what you have is what you want, but when does it become enough? When do you realize what you want already is right in front of you, you can't compare 5 pieces of silver to 1 piece of gold. When will you be done digging in the Cookie Jar?

Cookie "Jar" Act I

So I'm looking through google for some interesting things in the images for cookie jars, and I come across this hilarious and interesting inside joke. So it turns out that the old mascot for cookie crisp from (1977 - 1985) was a "merlin type" wizard named Cookie Jarvis. Lmao!!!! I don't remember him I remember the cookie crook and the officer lol but how hilarious it was to me to find out that while I'm lookin for a picture for my next blog cleverly entitled The Cookie "Jar" I find this interesting little fact. Bag of chuckles, handful of laughs. (Thanx to Jae Breeze Breezesworld.blogspot.com for the last quote)

Cookies and Milk....Yea it's Kinda like that....

You know how somethings just go together? You know how somethings are soooo good together that without each other....there nothing really? Well were kinda like that. Cookies and milk? good seperate right? EXCELLENT together!!! Peanut butter and Jelly, Pilllows and Blankets, Peanut butter and Chocolate, Ketchup and Mustard, The Hotdog and the Bun, Ice cream and sprinkles, Cereal and Milk???? My sister Toni once said that me and "combat boots" were toxic without each other. I laughed when she said it but really I see what she's saying. When we were together in 2006...we didn't get into any trouble. We were both doing fine. Now recently since were apart we kinda get into trouble or do things we normally would do. I hate distance between relationships really I do, Whoever said absence makes the heart grow fonder can kick rocks. I find my heart telling me it's just because sub conciously we need each other..........But I know what your thinking.....What about "Adidas"?.....What about three stripes? Well as I have tryed to say and still say we are friends. He just makes things so damn difficult, why can't two people just be really cool friends? I told him I missed his friendship, but if that can't be handled what else can you do? Part of a friendship is wanting happiness for the other person. I want so bad for "Adidas" to find someone who loves him for him, someone who's heart is his and vice versa. I want true love for him because he deserves it. We didn't work out for reasons that he already knows the answer to but not once in that relationship did I lie to "Adidas". Any question he had about "Combat Boots" I answered honestly. Why? Because we were in a relationship and he deserved the truth. Now did he lie to me? Hell to the yea but it's in the past and it will stay there. As stated before I appriciate my friendship with "Adidas", I can "handle" my friendship with him. I wish he could to, but Im begining to see that there may be too many complications in us being friends. But you know what, I'll continue to still try......because I want to hear him one day talk about the girl who loves him for him, loves everything about him, loves him the way i love "Combat Boots".........purely, and truely without question or doubt.

Interesting Enough....

I just remember really feeling like this some days. Not currently but when I came across it I knew I should put it in my blog.....

Comparisons Are Easily Done.....

I never thought a song could relate to my situation so much it's unbeliveable. Im talking about "Thinking of you" by: Katy Perry. If you haven't heard it you should give it a listen. I dated my first love for a year then we broke things off when he left for his duty station in Germany January 2006. He has never left my head or my heart. While we were both seeing other people I dated someone else for about a year from May 2007 to about April 2008. I've never been the type of girl who dates, breaks up and never talks to the guy again. I like to keep them how they start......as a friendship. But, as we ALL know, some people just cannot handle ex's in a friendship. Currently I still talk to both ex's. We will call them "Combat boots"<----2006 ex. and the other "Adidas"<----2007 ex. ::::pause for personal giggles:::: Now "Combat Boots" currently resides in Texas and I have been to visit, as I said we are still friends. I'm still really close to his family and My mother looooooves him. In our relationship he was not only a boyfriend but a bestfriend. We have had our fall outs but somehow.....we always end up right where we started, friends. He's one of those people I believe are meant to be in my life. But there is a crucial piece to this puzzle "Combat Boots" did break my heart in a big way, By marrying someone else in 2007 because the female....we will call her "S.B.exwife"...She cheated on his right before they got married and didn't tell him until later on....damn that ho trife....Well currently she also revealed that the child she though was his....wont. Damn I can't stand that ho. ANYWAYS regardless of how much it hurt me I stayed friends with "Combat Boots" even when he was married. I've backed him up through this whole thing and tried the best I could to be there for him. But yall I cannot lie to myself. I do love that boy with all my heart, I always have, and regardless of anything yall I always will. I have tried to put into WORDS how strongly I feel about him. But I now realize that unless you have that feeling yourself or I put MY HEART into each one of yalls chest. You will not know exactly how I feel. But guess what.....thats okay. Now you must be wondering.....If I have so much love for "Combat boots" what's the deal with me and "Adidas"??? Well People, Allow me to explain. In 2007 I was going through alot of shit, with school, not knowing what I wanted to do, my mom, my breakup with "Combat Boots" just a whole lot of things. That's when I met "Adidas" at a friends party. I saw him in his hoodie and white adidas and I just though he was too cute. We would talk everyday for hours, go to the movies, watch stupid movies that he knew was cheesy but watched them anyway with me lol. He was a best friend too, I thank him for being there for me alot of the times when nobody else was sometimes, believe me a few of his shirts were wet with my tears somedays. But "Adidas" has a bad side too, our relationship had so hurddles. He lied to me a few times....which is a HUGE no-no, i hate a liar, he has disrespected my mother before so he's not even allowed in her house, his family doesn't like me for there own reasons. It's alot of obsticles when it comes to me and him, but that still doesn't make me want to stop our friendship. No I don't feel the same for him and "Combat Boots" but I do love "Adidas" friendship. I still love laughing at his jokes, I still love the fact that he has the ability to make me laugh no matter how much I cry. But, when I'm with him......I find my mind drifting of and thinking about "Combat Boots". It's hard because I really want to keep my friendship with "Adidas", but he makes it hard. If I was in his position I'm not sure what I would think but I do try to the best of my ability to respect his feelings and be completly honest with him. Thats all I can do, is be completely honest.....

***Love+Distance=Stress***

We all know what day is coming up soon, Yes in case you forgot Saturday is Valentines Day, My second favorite holiday, the first being christmas. Valentines day is either really exciting! or really depressing. Especially if your far from your siggie (significant other). Long distant relationships can be excruciatingly hard, trust me i know. When you want to hold them, you cant, when you want to just lay together and enjoy one another's company you cant, or even just talk together face to face because you've had a hard day you cant. I know for a fact, and from expirence just how hard it is, but there are ways to get around it, and get your concentration off of how much you miss each other. Talking daily on the phone is the most obvious thing to do when you miss your siggie, but if you talk to much you'll run out of things to say, your conversation will get foggy, and you will just be listning to each other breathe. Now unless your weird like me and you will stay on the phone even if no words are being said, u need to do something more. Think about sending your siggie a special gift from the heart, one to let them know there memory is still just as strong as if they were right next to you. Also, sometimes a good letter means alot, even if you speak on the phone there is nothing like a thoughtful letter from the heart. Now Valentines day for me, as much as i love it will be a sad one, the core of my heart is in Texas, so it's another lonely one for me, My plans are to sit at home, watch a charlie brown valentine, drink, and cry. I know it's depressing but i just dont want to go out with any one but my siggie. So for all of those lucky ones with your siggies enjoy your time and cherish every moment. Happy Valentines Day yall!