Comparisons Are Easily Done.....

I never thought a song could relate to my situation so much it's unbeliveable. Im talking about "Thinking of you" by: Katy Perry. If you haven't heard it you should give it a listen. I dated my first love for a year then we broke things off when he left for his duty station in Germany January 2006. He has never left my head or my heart. While we were both seeing other people I dated someone else for about a year from May 2007 to about April 2008. I've never been the type of girl who dates, breaks up and never talks to the guy again. I like to keep them how they start......as a friendship. But, as we ALL know, some people just cannot handle ex's in a friendship. Currently I still talk to both ex's. We will call them "Combat boots"<----2006 ex. and the other "Adidas"<----2007 ex. ::::pause for personal giggles:::: Now "Combat Boots" currently resides in Texas and I have been to visit, as I said we are still friends. I'm still really close to his family and My mother looooooves him. In our relationship he was not only a boyfriend but a bestfriend. We have had our fall outs but somehow.....we always end up right where we started, friends. He's one of those people I believe are meant to be in my life. But there is a crucial piece to this puzzle "Combat Boots" did break my heart in a big way, By marrying someone else in 2007 because the female....we will call her "S.B.exwife"...She cheated on his right before they got married and didn't tell him until later on....damn that ho trife....Well currently she also revealed that the child she though was his....wont. Damn I can't stand that ho. ANYWAYS regardless of how much it hurt me I stayed friends with "Combat Boots" even when he was married. I've backed him up through this whole thing and tried the best I could to be there for him. But yall I cannot lie to myself. I do love that boy with all my heart, I always have, and regardless of anything yall I always will. I have tried to put into WORDS how strongly I feel about him. But I now realize that unless you have that feeling yourself or I put MY HEART into each one of yalls chest. You will not know exactly how I feel. But guess what.....thats okay. Now you must be wondering.....If I have so much love for "Combat boots" what's the deal with me and "Adidas"??? Well People, Allow me to explain. In 2007 I was going through alot of shit, with school, not knowing what I wanted to do, my mom, my breakup with "Combat Boots" just a whole lot of things. That's when I met "Adidas" at a friends party. I saw him in his hoodie and white adidas and I just though he was too cute. We would talk everyday for hours, go to the movies, watch stupid movies that he knew was cheesy but watched them anyway with me lol. He was a best friend too, I thank him for being there for me alot of the times when nobody else was sometimes, believe me a few of his shirts were wet with my tears somedays. But "Adidas" has a bad side too, our relationship had so hurddles. He lied to me a few times....which is a HUGE no-no, i hate a liar, he has disrespected my mother before so he's not even allowed in her house, his family doesn't like me for there own reasons. It's alot of obsticles when it comes to me and him, but that still doesn't make me want to stop our friendship. No I don't feel the same for him and "Combat Boots" but I do love "Adidas" friendship. I still love laughing at his jokes, I still love the fact that he has the ability to make me laugh no matter how much I cry. But, when I'm with him......I find my mind drifting of and thinking about "Combat Boots". It's hard because I really want to keep my friendship with "Adidas", but he makes it hard. If I was in his position I'm not sure what I would think but I do try to the best of my ability to respect his feelings and be completly honest with him. Thats all I can do, is be completely honest.....