It was the most gorgeous summer afternoon, i remember the wind blowing very gently just enough to keep you cool :). I was 17 at the hair salon with my mom and boy was she taking FOREVER to finish so being that i was already done i decided to call up a good friend of mine, Jonathan :) and ask could he come and pick me up, which he did i walked outside to his car and got in. When i let down his mirror to look at my hair i noticed someone in the backseat. "Brandy meet my friend Jarvis" he said, I turned around and found my self starring at him, how rude of me. But if u could call any moment in time love at first sight
that would be it because i just could'nt bring my self to speak, finally after seriously creeping him out i managed to say "hi" :) lol. After creeping him out badly we went on to pick up my bestest fwiend! yea i said it fwiend! Kida G! we kinda just hung out for a while that day, a day ill never forget. Well time passed on and around august we had our first date :) i remember he pulled up in a green car (a pontiac i believe) and he beeped his horn, my mom was so mad that he didnt come in i couldnt leave until he did so that day he met my mom. To this day i beleive thats the only time she had ever been mad at Jarvis lol. You know how most first dates you dress to umm whats the word?....impress!! lol not the case with him he had on i believe a gray shirt and some khakis with oil stains all over them lol he said they were his work pants, it was okay thought i was just happy to be with him. Well we went to the movies in chester to see the wackest movie ever made "The Village".....boooo 3 thumbs down! i actually thought he didnt like me very much he never tried to hold my hand and he barely spoke to me at all :( after the movie was over we went next door to target where he bought the most annoying cd ever made, member that regae song "turn me on" by: Kevin Lyttle? omg Jarvis played this damn cd the whole ride home!! might i add that his air conditioner in the car was a small little black fan on the dash board hehe. Well that was my first date with him, and i didnt see him again until around december, i dont blame him thought there was a pretty bad flood in richmond where he lived and his car was messed up, on top of that he was working 2 jobs @ kings dominion and UPS, i would get so excited when he called my little nokia phone :) and he did, very often. In December we went on another date to see "Blade 3" and that night he asked me to be his girlfriend, December 19th, 2004. Of course i said yes. And that was the way it started, how i fell in love. I think honestly i loved that boy from the time i laid eyes on him but I remeber Jarvis saying he wanted to wait until something burned inside him to say he loved me, so when he finally did say it, it meant the world. We started of as a could who saw each other on weekends and talked on the phone since when we met he had already graduated but i was about to be a senior in school. I remember one time he surprised me and came to eat lunch with me, him and jonathan but the security gaurd came and told them they had to come with him lol i was so scared. But it was very sweet of him to come. We dated all through senior year and even went to prom together, but i think that summer was what made us bond and connect seriously, after i graduated in june him and i were inserperable, and im not exagerating at all. I was with him every single day, i couldnt stand to wake up and he wasnt next to me. I never felt such comfort as i did in his arms. In fact he probably doesnt remember but there was a time that summer where we were at the park in my neighborhood and my mom and me were aurguing over the phone, when i hung i was so frustrated i cried and i just remember him holding me, and kissing my cheek, he didnt say anything nor did he have too, just being in his arms calmed me down. I was calmed and he didnt have to say a word. :). I really think that when i say we were inseperable im not beleived so let me give an example some days i would take him to work (Target) and i would go in with him and help him zone his sections, like i said inseperable. We werent all peaches though we had our aurguments, boy did we! I think the top worst one was in the car, we were on the way to his house and in the middle of the aurgument he said "and if ur pregnant i dont even care".....well....i kinda....slapped the shit outta him, after i did he said nothing else until we got to his house, then he said he didnt want to be with or see me anymore, he got out of the car and began to walk down the sidewalk, the thought of not seeing or being with him anymore not only nausieated me but broke every piece of my heart, so i jumped out of my car and ran up to him i begged him not to do it, crying so hard i could barely speak. i followed him all the way upstairs to his room door which was slammed in my face, finally after i walked back to my car right when i reached for the handle something grabbed my elbow, it was him. :) we shared many laughs, many tears, and i shared a gift i could only give one person with him lol and boy did we take advantage of that, like everyday, every hour lol mmhmm! Well your probably wondering if things were so great just what in the world happened?....Well in August Jarvis left for basic training and i stayed here and began college. I wrote him everyday sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. We talked about kids and marriage everything. I was so interested in what he was doing that i went on the Ft. Jackson website and got an overlook of what basic training was like, so i knew what he was doing in each phase of basic. After he graduated he came back here to Fort Lee for A.I.T which is where he got his next orders....for Germany. Which was so funny since my brother (Weasle) was already there. Well before he left he sat down and asked my mom and my uncle Bo what they thought of us getting married and me moving to germany with him, i sat on the stairs and listened as they told him "no, shes not ready for all of that". I sat and listened to that, all along having a feeling that i was pregnant. Dont ask me why i didnt say anything, i took test after test and they said negative but i still had a feeling. I digress, in January 2006 me, Jonathan, and Mama Wallace (Jarvis' mom) took him to the airport, I hugged him and said goodbye
...It was like getting punched right in the throat, I hate absolutely hated saying good bye to him. But thats what i did. I cried more tears than humanly possible. I called my best friend screaming crying and she recalls that phone call to this day. After being with someone everyday for a year then having them leave is very pain ful to deal with but if u are in love u just deal with it. And for a while we did. In febuary i found out that maybe i shoulda spoke up because i found out that hey i was prego after all, excitement was an understatement for how we felt. Regretably in March i miscarried and i guess that was too much for us to handle on top of separation. So in April 2006.....it ended. And in a way a piece of me ended too.
I was crumbled, I cried, I broke, disolved, disenagrated, cracked, bursted, hurt, every word that had some this to do with pain cannot compare even half way with with whatever it was that i felt. Not even close, no word or emotion can come close. I think there were days where all i did was get up and brush my teeth and get back into bed, it was horrible, so bad that my best friend kida had to come and take every picture of him off my wall just so i would possibly get up. It was like a hole was in me so i looked for love in all the wrong places
to fill it nothing worked......nothing even came close. I just wound up hurt again. But everything helped me to learn something different and for that simple reason i am gratefull. But a painful heart break like that.....i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. I dont know when and if i'll find a love like that, I also dont know when or if it will in fact be that same love, that me and Jarvis are in fact destined to be together. The only thing i do know.....is what my heart holds, that the love i felt for him from day one is still there just as strong as it was if not stronger. I also know that neither one of us are the same, we have both been through alot of things to make us grow up, and most of all change. I can say honestly i have change my love for him is one of the few things that hasn't, i just wish he would acknowlege and realize that. In fact i still talk to and love his family as if they were mine and he could walk through the door right now and with my family it would be as if he never left, my brother Wease doesn't like many people but guess who he does like...Jarvis, everyone does. I havent seen him in almost a year but everytime i see him i get the same reaction, a Huge lump in my throat and teary eyes it never fails, and the same thoughts come through my head, "there he is, omg", my hear pumps like its gonna come out of my chest, i hug him and exhale. everytime. And every tinme he comes its like that hole thats been in my heart
for all these years is temporaily filled. You cant be happy if you have regrets, so i regret nothing to stay happy, but love, true and pure love is a priceless treasure everyone should have, it not only makes u happy it makes u estatic beyond words, trust me when i say.......i speak from personal expirience.......
that would be it because i just could'nt bring my self to speak, finally after seriously creeping him out i managed to say "hi" :) lol. After creeping him out badly we went on to pick up my bestest fwiend! yea i said it fwiend! Kida G! we kinda just hung out for a while that day, a day ill never forget. Well time passed on and around august we had our first date :) i remember he pulled up in a green car (a pontiac i believe) and he beeped his horn, my mom was so mad that he didnt come in i couldnt leave until he did so that day he met my mom. To this day i beleive thats the only time she had ever been mad at Jarvis lol. You know how most first dates you dress to umm whats the word?....impress!! lol not the case with him he had on i believe a gray shirt and some khakis with oil stains all over them lol he said they were his work pants, it was okay thought i was just happy to be with him. Well we went to the movies in chester to see the wackest movie ever made "The Village".....boooo 3 thumbs down! i actually thought he didnt like me very much he never tried to hold my hand and he barely spoke to me at all :( after the movie was over we went next door to target where he bought the most annoying cd ever made, member that regae song "turn me on" by: Kevin Lyttle? omg Jarvis played this damn cd the whole ride home!! might i add that his air conditioner in the car was a small little black fan on the dash board hehe. Well that was my first date with him, and i didnt see him again until around december, i dont blame him thought there was a pretty bad flood in richmond where he lived and his car was messed up, on top of that he was working 2 jobs @ kings dominion and UPS, i would get so excited when he called my little nokia phone :) and he did, very often. In December we went on another date to see "Blade 3" and that night he asked me to be his girlfriend, December 19th, 2004. Of course i said yes. And that was the way it started, how i fell in love. I think honestly i loved that boy from the time i laid eyes on him but I remeber Jarvis saying he wanted to wait until something burned inside him to say he loved me, so when he finally did say it, it meant the world. We started of as a could who saw each other on weekends and talked on the phone since when we met he had already graduated but i was about to be a senior in school. I remember one time he surprised me and came to eat lunch with me, him and jonathan but the security gaurd came and told them they had to come with him lol i was so scared. But it was very sweet of him to come. We dated all through senior year and even went to prom together, but i think that summer was what made us bond and connect seriously, after i graduated in june him and i were inserperable, and im not exagerating at all. I was with him every single day, i couldnt stand to wake up and he wasnt next to me. I never felt such comfort as i did in his arms. In fact he probably doesnt remember but there was a time that summer where we were at the park in my neighborhood and my mom and me were aurguing over the phone, when i hung i was so frustrated i cried and i just remember him holding me, and kissing my cheek, he didnt say anything nor did he have too, just being in his arms calmed me down. I was calmed and he didnt have to say a word. :). I really think that when i say we were inseperable im not beleived so let me give an example some days i would take him to work (Target) and i would go in with him and help him zone his sections, like i said inseperable. We werent all peaches though we had our aurguments, boy did we! I think the top worst one was in the car, we were on the way to his house and in the middle of the aurgument he said "and if ur pregnant i dont even care".....well....i kinda....slapped the shit outta him, after i did he said nothing else until we got to his house, then he said he didnt want to be with or see me anymore, he got out of the car and began to walk down the sidewalk, the thought of not seeing or being with him anymore not only nausieated me but broke every piece of my heart, so i jumped out of my car and ran up to him i begged him not to do it, crying so hard i could barely speak. i followed him all the way upstairs to his room door which was slammed in my face, finally after i walked back to my car right when i reached for the handle something grabbed my elbow, it was him. :) we shared many laughs, many tears, and i shared a gift i could only give one person with him lol and boy did we take advantage of that, like everyday, every hour lol mmhmm! Well your probably wondering if things were so great just what in the world happened?....Well in August Jarvis left for basic training and i stayed here and began college. I wrote him everyday sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. We talked about kids and marriage everything. I was so interested in what he was doing that i went on the Ft. Jackson website and got an overlook of what basic training was like, so i knew what he was doing in each phase of basic. After he graduated he came back here to Fort Lee for A.I.T which is where he got his next orders....for Germany. Which was so funny since my brother (Weasle) was already there. Well before he left he sat down and asked my mom and my uncle Bo what they thought of us getting married and me moving to germany with him, i sat on the stairs and listened as they told him "no, shes not ready for all of that". I sat and listened to that, all along having a feeling that i was pregnant. Dont ask me why i didnt say anything, i took test after test and they said negative but i still had a feeling. I digress, in January 2006 me, Jonathan, and Mama Wallace (Jarvis' mom) took him to the airport, I hugged him and said goodbye
...It was like getting punched right in the throat, I hate absolutely hated saying good bye to him. But thats what i did. I cried more tears than humanly possible. I called my best friend screaming crying and she recalls that phone call to this day. After being with someone everyday for a year then having them leave is very pain ful to deal with but if u are in love u just deal with it. And for a while we did. In febuary i found out that maybe i shoulda spoke up because i found out that hey i was prego after all, excitement was an understatement for how we felt. Regretably in March i miscarried and i guess that was too much for us to handle on top of separation. So in April 2006.....it ended. And in a way a piece of me ended too.
I was crumbled, I cried, I broke, disolved, disenagrated, cracked, bursted, hurt, every word that had some this to do with pain cannot compare even half way with with whatever it was that i felt. Not even close, no word or emotion can come close. I think there were days where all i did was get up and brush my teeth and get back into bed, it was horrible, so bad that my best friend kida had to come and take every picture of him off my wall just so i would possibly get up. It was like a hole was in me so i looked for love in all the wrong places
to fill it nothing worked......nothing even came close. I just wound up hurt again. But everything helped me to learn something different and for that simple reason i am gratefull. But a painful heart break like that.....i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. I dont know when and if i'll find a love like that, I also dont know when or if it will in fact be that same love, that me and Jarvis are in fact destined to be together. The only thing i do know.....is what my heart holds, that the love i felt for him from day one is still there just as strong as it was if not stronger. I also know that neither one of us are the same, we have both been through alot of things to make us grow up, and most of all change. I can say honestly i have change my love for him is one of the few things that hasn't, i just wish he would acknowlege and realize that. In fact i still talk to and love his family as if they were mine and he could walk through the door right now and with my family it would be as if he never left, my brother Wease doesn't like many people but guess who he does like...Jarvis, everyone does. I havent seen him in almost a year but everytime i see him i get the same reaction, a Huge lump in my throat and teary eyes it never fails, and the same thoughts come through my head, "there he is, omg", my hear pumps like its gonna come out of my chest, i hug him and exhale. everytime. And every tinme he comes its like that hole thats been in my heart
for all these years is temporaily filled. You cant be happy if you have regrets, so i regret nothing to stay happy, but love, true and pure love is a priceless treasure everyone should have, it not only makes u happy it makes u estatic beyond words, trust me when i say.......i speak from personal expirience.......
